I’m finding that more & more people have issues with being alone. And I don’t mean being alone for a night or going to a party alone. But being fully & completely content with just being with themselves.
That used to be me. I was completely uncomfortable alone & I think that’s one of the reasons why my past relationship didn’t work out. I had no clue how to be alone & be my own person. I was always part of a team & dependent on the other person. I didn’t know how to cope with making my own decisions & trusting myself. Going through a terrible breakup totally forced me to become my own person. There was no one to consult with in making decisions. No one there to put a smile on my face. I had no one there to celebrate the wins with or to commiserate with me during the bad days. And I have to tell you…..IT WAS FABULOUS!
I felt like for the first time I was truly myself & did not have to answer to anyone.
That feeling of absolute freedom was terrifying & exhilarating all at once. Moving out & living alone was really the major moment where I felt totally and 100% OK with being by myself.
I highly suggest that you live alone at least once in your life.
No roommates, no family- just you! Making your own rules, creating your own routine & making decisions solely based on you & your needs. I’m also the type of person who doesn’t need to be in contact with others 24/7. Needing to talk on the phone or text people every day is just not my thing. I like my space, so I think it was a bit easier for me to transition into living alone. I do have to say I’ve always had this unrealistic fear of someone breaking into my house in the middle of the night so I always had that in the back of my head! LOL But for the most part, living alone was AMAZING!
I also think this period of truly getting to know myself & finding my voice set me up for success in my current relationship. We have our own separate lives outside of our relationship which is so needed. We don’t have to be up each other’s ass 24/7 & don’t feel the need to constantly do everything together. There are times we are both home but hang out in opposite rooms (him to play Xbox, me to watch Bravo)- and it works for us. We also have a mutual respect & encourage each other to be 100% completely ourselves. I don’t think I could have weathered another relationship if I didn’t go through the process of being alone & figuring out what I truly wanted for myself.
You need to be able to make yourself happy in life & pick yourself off the ground during tough times. At the end of the day, you really only have yourself. You need to have your own back first & foremost.
That being said- I know being alone can be hard. It can be isolating. But I’m telling you- it can be so amazing if you just change your mindset. Getting to know yourself inside & out without the noise and opinions of other people around you is so rewarding.
Here are a few tips & activities you can do to practice being alone and to get to know yourself better: