So let me just start out by saying, I’m big on planning.
If you haven’t already gotten that from previous posts, I like being organized. I was like this my whole life. Growing up, I even had my life planned out. Here is what I thought my life would be like:
- Go to college
- Graduate & move in with high school sweatheart
- Get a great job in the fashion industry in NYC
- Work my way up the corporate ladder & make a fantastic salary
- Marry said high school sweatheart by 28
- Buy a house at 29
- Start having kids at 30
Well, let me just tell you- only one of those things actually happened on that list!! I went to college. I would say up until my 20’s, everything just kind of worked out for me. I made a plan, I executed the plan & I got results. I wanted to go to college for fashion. I researched schools, applied & got in. I even worked my ass off & graduated college in 3 years instead of 4. And here I was just checking things off my list, thinking “holy shit, this thing called life is so easy.”
Well, I talked a little bit about one of my favorite quotes yesterday on Instagram:
”The comeback is always stronger than the setback.”
Up until that point in my life, I never truly understood the powerful meaning behind this quote.
I never had any struggles, I never had any setbacks. I knew what I wanted, I worked really hard to get it & I eventually achieved my goal. School came easy to me, I always was the girl with the boyfriend, had an amazing support system that included family & friends, what more could a girl want?
Well, the rug was pulled out from under me in November of 2013. This perfect life I envisioned, this check list I had, just all went to hell in a hand basket. I’m not one who is big on change & I don’t do well with unexpected curveballs. So you can imagine, I felt like my world was over when I found out my boyfriend had been sleeping with one of my best friends from college. Not only was my relationship just suddenly taken away from me, but a friendship that I thought was real had also just blown up in my face.
My plan for my future was all of the sudden blank. There was no Plan B.
I had never had something “tragic” happen to me before so I was literally lost. I know there are way more tragic situations that people have gone through in life & you’re probably saying that I’m ridiculous for being this dramatic over a break-up. But I can only speak on my experiences & to me this is the most devastating thing that has happened to me so far in life. I don’t know how in God’s name I did this, but I let myself wallow in self-pity for only 2 days. I cried for two days straight & then I made myself get back into my normal routine. My grief & feelings of betrayal turned to anger, my anger then turned to loneliness.
That is when something just clicked in me.
I gave up on the planning & just decided to have fun and live my life. I decided that I was just going to say yes to any opportunity that came my way. I travelled with my girlfriends & chose to be happy. Also, it didn’t hurt that I lost 20 pounds from being depressed & not eating, so I wanted to flaunt my new body on the beaches of Miami!!!

My whole personality changed as well. My friends truly saw a difference in me- I was more lighthearted, more fun to be around. I really wanted “my comeback” so to speak to be strong. Part of that was getting rid of anything that reminded me of my asshole boyfriend- which is pretty much EVERYTHING since we had been dating for 11 years. I got my shit together financially- bought myself a new car, moved out into a place of my own (something I never thought I would do). The sense of independence I gained from this horrible experience was huge. I could support myself, make my own desicions & never have to rely on anyone for my happiness. The amount of confidence I gained because of this whole experience was a incredible.
When I decided to stop trying to plan every minute of my life & just enjoy it- that’s when everything changed for me.
I actually met my current boyfriend 6 months after this whole debacle. I felt like a new person. It’s so true- one doors closes in order for something even better to come into your life. If I hadn’t went through hell with that horrible break-up, I would have never met the kind, caring & hysterical man I’m with today.

Do I still plan for my future? Yes. But in a more practical way. I’m not giving anything a timeline. Do I want to buy a house, get married & have a baby? Yes. But it will happen when it’s supposed to happen & not a minute sooner. I’m just living my life day by day & becoming open to any experience that gets thrown my way. I turned my setback into the greatest comeback & I still feel like I’m just getting started. This year I am dedicating to not only re-vamping my diet & exercise, but to also focus on my professional goals. Stay tuned- the comeback has only just begun!!
I absolutely love this! I have also had a couple heartbreaks due to cheating and it’s rough, but if someone can do that, they’re obviously not the person they were claiming to be and we deserve so much better! You and your bf are adorable together! I have always planned my life too, and within the past year I learned that I have to let go and just enjoy the moment. It’s so much better that way!
Thanks Jenna!! Heartbreaks are the worst but we’re always better off in the end. Letting go & living your life can sometimes be your best move. Still trying to “be in the moment” as much as possible- it’s so hard!
Love this girlfriend, I too, didn’t have a life that went ‘according to plan’ – life is funny, and grand!
Life is definitely funny! It someon works out better than we could have ever dreamed!